Unfortunately, Juliet . . .

Being a disobliging, antisocial type, prone to storming off in a grump at the slightest mention of quizzes or other forms of organised 'fun' in which mirthful mass-participation is expected, I make a point of not joining in with bloggish tags and memes here on Musings. Ever.

However, it's my blog so I'll change the rules if I want to, and today's little game on Random Distractions tickled my fancy during a brief respite from my morning's workload.

All you have to do is Google the word "unfortunately", together with your name and see what comes up. You have to put the whole lot in double quotes.

"Unfortunately Juliet" brought me the following illuminating observations:

“Unfortunately, Juliet slipped her collar shortly after leaving her den. She is one of the bears featured in the BBC documentary . . .” [aha, that would explain the constant grumping and growling, then]

“Unfortunately, Juliet's vocal delivery and range is much more akin to the likes of Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne . . .” [not bad for a bear]

“Unfortunately, Juliet didn't record herself singing all that much. She meant to — she bought the tape recorder and the tapes to do it — but she ran out of time . . .” [probably just as well, considering]

“Unfortunately Juliet is busy creating cheeses with Alex James . . .” [well that's what I'm telling people we're doing together in the dairy, anyway . . .]

“Unfortunately Juliet wasn't there but her mum came out and told us all to bugger off 'cos she's been a very naughty girl! . . .” [gosh, well that'll be the first time anyone's ever heard my sainted mother use that kind of language, though the cause of her annoyance doesn't get any better as she gets older]

“Unfortunately, Juliet’s dialogue, especially when she is perched on her high balcony, is lost . . .” [how can I be expected to perch and converse at the same time without falling off?]

“Unfortunately, Juliet is now thoroughly indoctrinated with feminist dogma . . .” [and has consequently never willingly, or with anything other than thoroughly bad grace and much cursing, ironed a man's shirt (or perhaps that's mere disobliging grumpiness dressed up as feminist dogma?)]

“Unfortunately Juliet turns out to be lying about a lot of things . . .” [oi! how dare you! I'm leaving in a huff now.]

“Unfortunately, Juliet left in a huff . . .” [see?]

“Unfortunately Juliet is still with us, although we really cannot understand why . . .” [me neither, it's a mystery.]

So there we have it. If you have a go yourself to fill an idle five minutes, do let me know how you got on.