Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Unfortunately, Juliet . . .


Being a disobliging, antisocial type, prone to storming off in a grump at the slightest mention of quizzes or other forms of organised 'fun' in which mirthful mass-participation is expected, I make a point of not joining in with bloggish tags and memes here on Musings. Ever.

However, it's my blog so I'll change the rules if I want to, and today's little game on Random Distractions tickled my fancy during a brief respite from my morning's workload.

All you have to do is Google the word "unfortunately", together with your name and see what comes up. You have to put the whole lot in double quotes.


"Unfortunately Juliet" brought me the following illuminating observations:

Unfortunately, Juliet slipped her collar shortly after leaving her den. She is one of the bears featured in the BBC documentary . . .” [aha, that would explain the constant grumping and growling, then]

Unfortunately, Juliet's vocal delivery and range is much more akin to the likes of Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne . . .” [not bad for a bear]

Unfortunately, Juliet didn't record herself singing all that much. She meant to — she bought the tape recorder and the tapes to do it — but she ran out of time . . .” [probably just as well, considering]

Unfortunately Juliet is busy creating cheeses with Alex James . . .” [well that's what I'm telling people we're doing together in the dairy, anyway . . .]

Unfortunately Juliet wasn't there but her mum came out and told us all to bugger off 'cos she's been a very naughty girl! . . .” [gosh, well that'll be the first time anyone's ever heard my sainted mother use that kind of language, though the cause of her annoyance doesn't get any better as she gets older]

Unfortunately, Juliet’s dialogue, especially when she is perched on her high balcony, is lost . . .” [how can I be expected to perch and converse at the same time without falling off?]

Unfortunately, Juliet is now thoroughly indoctrinated with feminist dogma . . .” [and has consequently never willingly, or with anything other than thoroughly bad grace and much cursing, ironed a man's shirt (or perhaps that's mere disobliging grumpiness dressed up as feminist dogma?)]

Unfortunately Juliet turns out to be lying about a lot of things . . .” [oi! how dare you! I'm leaving in a huff now.]

Unfortunately, Juliet left in a huff . . .” [see?]

Unfortunately Juliet is still with us, although we really cannot understand why . . .” [me neither, it's a mystery.]



So there we have it. If you have a go yourself to fill an idle five minutes, do let me know how you got on.

14 comments:

monix said...

That is so funny, J. Well worth neglecting the work for a few minutes (or hours?).

Martin Edwards said...

Excellent. Grumpy can be fun!

Joanna said...

"Unfortunately Joanna will not be appearing on American Idol anymore this Season." ... and her record deal's been cancelled. Shame

Thanks for 2 minute's fun
Joanna

Cathy said...

Hello Juliet
Came over to visit from Monix' place
Fun game wasn't it - very enlightening indeed:)
Take care
Cathy

debutnovelist said...

Irresistible, isn't it?
"Her family came from a long line of butchers, but unfortunately Alison showed little talent in this area" PHEW
"Unfortunately, Alison broke her back while pole-vaulting" OUCH
"Unfortunately, Alison doesn't know the first thing about cars" TOO TRUE!

James and Maggie said...

Juliet, just tried it myself and it keeps resulting in my untimely death...you rotter!

Jade said...

Unfortunately (as they say), since I share my first name with a prominent (for the next few weeks at least) British reality star, most of the results I got were a mixture of the pathetic and the truly sad.

Jane Badger said...

Jane was unable to make the transition from child star to adult (a source of endless bitterness to me even now)

Juxtabook said...

Unfortunately, Catherine eventually had to go back to working during the day, instead of working the night shift, and stopped spending her nights with him. ...

...a life more exciting than mine by the sounds of it!

Greg Dunn said...

Thank you, Juliet. Things have been a bit rough round at GICAD Towers of late - but at least I now know why! "Unfortunately Gregory's love of drugs and penchant for trouble derailed him at the peak of his career"

Susie Vereker said...

'Unfortunately, Susie's shoes don't match the dress she was planning to wear them with.'

'Unfortunately, Susie does not realize that she was killed in a firecracker accident 50 years ago.'

'We had a very informative talk on bioacoustics, however unfortunately Susie had recordings of whales so we were deprived of her impressions. ...'

This is really good fun and an excellent time-waster.

Susie Vereker said...

Had to add
"Unfortunately Susie fainted at the sight of all the blood, but apart from that a successful day."

SD1 said...

"All the circus people were out sick with ear infections," says Olivia. "Luckily I knew how to do everything."
bass guitar's pretty crap... luckily olivia's voice salvaged the song
Luckily, Olivia's sudden appearance at the foot of the stairs frightened off the Stickman
Luckily, Olivia is snoopy. As she's leaving the apartment, she swipes the girl's underpants for evidence.

Kathy said...

Unfortunately, Kathy did not survive. The infection took over her body and she passed away a few days later.
Hey- no-one thought to tell me that!!

Perhaps now that I am no more I should try a more postive approach. . .

Luckily Kathy finally got the dogs to calm down and we got the guy out of the house
This is better - the ‘dog whisperer’

Luckily, Kathy came to the rescue, fixing the hem job in about 20 minutes while I waited
My talents as a needlewoman recognised

Luckily, Kathy saves herself along with others
A true heroine

Luckily Kathy’s chauffeur was waiting for her outside and came to her rescue.
With a chauffeur and he’s a hero!

Luckily Kathy was with me and although deeply shocked herself, she was able to remember the important information.
Such a memory!

Luckily Kathy had some chain lube in her tool kit, and silenced the cacophony
Ever resourceful -

Luckily Kathy is pretty nifty at design and so was more than up to the challenge.
Could this be the truth? I like to think so!

(Friend of James Weaver)